I'm orf

With impeccable timing, my favourite pornographer has provided us with a small selection of brand-new images which are, I think, a suitable Christmas gift to you (from him, obviously: I can claim no credit).

A strikingly handsome man who also has a sense of immense strength. I'm liking this model a lot.

I hope you do, too, because he's going to have to see you through the next week or so.

That's because I'm orf, to the wild flat wastelands of the Norfolk Fens, to brave the winds which howl down from the Arctic across the bleak expanse of the German Ocean, nothing to soften their vicious bite on their journey from the frozen North to their encounter with the delicate flesh of my face.

England, a temperate climate? Not necessarily in Norfolk -- earlier this year pack ice formed on the salt waters of the estuary of the River Great Ouse:

Luckily, my delicate flesh is nowhere near as perfect as this model's, so the damage will be that much less.

Er...

Anyway, I'm off. See you in a week or so.